After being cancer free for 4 years I still battle with extreme anxiety the days leading up to my 6-month check-up with Dr. McAndrew.
Don't get me wrong, I love my oncologist, I just would rather see her at the supermarket or bookstore! I personally go in a week before to have my blood taken so my results are ready by the time, I go in. But the moment I get off the elevator and walk into the waiting room my breath becomes more urgent and I am trying not to have my fear of "what if". As I look around the room my eyes seem to focus on the sickest person there. 'That could be me" I think to myself. My name gets called, I head in, hug the Dr. and think..."let’s get this over with"!
I realize I need someone with me. Not my husband but another woman who has walked my same path. She doesn't have to hold my hand or speak to me in a soothing way. All I need is her presence. I want someone there who will hear with me my results, good or bad. I realize I don't want to be alone and I need the support. Yes, I am actually admitting I need a little help. I'm a strong woman, hey I got through 14 rounds of chemo, 36 rounds of radiation and endless reconstructive surgeries but guess what, I still need support!
My tests were all normal and I am sure Dr. McAndrew heard my very loud exhale, "I'm still cancer free....yay!"
Until my next visit in 6 months.
I regain my strength and walk out with my head held high and a smile on my face!